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fibonacci

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08:32 pm: oops, i'm a gender stereotype
interesting article about why there aren't more women in science & engineering which concludes that maybe they just choose not to stay.

...interesting especially because i am exactly the kind of woman they are talking about. even down to the decision to go into medicine instead. or before that, the decision to go neuroscience over pure math, which i was pretty serious about for a while. especially after taking number theory.

so now i wonder over my reasons. was it really wanting to work with people / organic materials over Things? maybe somewhat. it felt more like: wanting to keep more doors open at once, to do things with more interdisciplinary potential (so i could think about computer science one day & psychology the next); later medicine came out on top because i realized my shyness went away when i was given a role to play. (the role, at the time that i realized this, was Caretaker, but just as i imagined, Doctor is exactly the same way. hawk said once that the best caretakers are people who thrive when put in roles, which immediately struck me as true.)

so maybe it does come down to "wanting to work with people" - in the sense that at my core i'm still awkward, intellectual, the kid who can't put down her book to brush her teeth, and yet it *matters* to me that i change when you give me a role to play and become someone people share things with and talk to and trust.

i wonder if the typical man-with-the-same-mathematical-abilities-as-me just doesn't have that same drive to expand in all directions, build community, be a Whole Person in the way so many of my friends (across the gender spectrum.. i don't think we are a good sample for addressing this question) try to .

i almost envy the ability to have a key ability.. but i never thought of the jack-of-all-trades thing i do as especially feminine.

not eloquent enough tonight to say anything striking or unexpected. but an interesting topic anyways.

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